Equipment Rep
Trains with every piece of equipment available at all times.
The Luddite
Trains with nothing. Only uses a loin cloth and goggles in workout.
The Barnacle
Leaves right on your feet. Couldn't count to five or ten if his life depnded on it.
The Coach
Not an actual coach, but someone who is consumed with technique. Swimming is a precise set of moves that can be broken down, categorized, and scientifically analyzed.
The Jaded
Could care less about technique. Just wants to swim and leave the analysis to the eggheads.
The Swimaholic
Trains at least 10 swimming workouts a week. Anything less is viewed as not trying.
Fast Guy who Never Trains
Shows up once a month and breaks national records in practice.
Hardest Working Man in the Swim Business
Trains like a ferocious animal in workout, but has no speed when it comes to racing.
Lane Guy
Works out in a lane that is far too fast or slow for him.
The Crack Guy
Dude, pull your swimsuit up or get a bigger size.
The Newbie
Shows up to practice in board shorts and a scuba mask.
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As for myself, I would fall into the categories of Luddite and Jaded. Also, I wrote this from a male perspective, but the women are included as well. Any other stereotypes?
Today I saw The Borg: This guy has every electronic device known to mankind and uses them all simultaneously. Multiple watches, heart monitor, mp3 player, and who knows what else all strapped on, and is constantly checking the displays and pushing various buttons. I couldn't tell if he was swimming 50s or launching the space shuttle.
The Naked Sit-up Guy - The NSG feels that the best place to do his pre-swim ab workout is perched atop the bench in the locker room doing legs-in-the-air naked ab crunches "facing" the main aisle. In the pool, NSG is probably also an Exhibitionist, but you don't really want to look at him again to find out.
I would think this sort of person would get reported to the front desk. I understand that folks will get naked in locker rooms, but there's no reason to "work out" in the locker room. That is just severely wrong.
Rip Van Winkle:
Guy shows up at the pool in just his trunks, carrying his goggles, walks over to the bleachers, and lies down on the bottom bleacher. He sleeps for about 20 minutes or so. Once he awakens, he swims a bit.I'm looking forward to be that guy someday ... if only my fellow age group competitors would stop training so hard so I could chill out some more.
Patrick, you can set the example for others to follow in your age group. Be the leader.No can do. Just read on FB some crazy guy who spanked all of us in Mesa doing 11 x 400 LCM already today. The arms race is on and I've been training with a BB gun.
No can do. Just read on FB some crazy guy who spanked all of us in Mesa doing 11 x 400 LCM already today. The arms race is on and I've been training with a BB gun.
What interval?
I'm looking forward to be that guy someday ... if only my fellow age group competitors would stop training so hard so I could chill out some more.
Patrick, you can set the example for others to follow in your age group. Be the leader.
You are heading to the locker room, walking past the pool window during lap swim and notice a single open lane. Excited, you rush to your locker, leave your clothes in a ball, quickly don your suit, lock up, and scamper out to your prized open lane only to find that in the two minutes it took you to change, someone has snuck out and taken YOUR lane. In your nice, previously open lane you find...
The Fragile Ego - the FE is very excited to invite you in to his/her lane, measuring you up visually as quickly as dismissing your ability. The FE appears reasonably skilled from looks and technique. These indicators are not reality however, and you lap the FE about once every 100 yards during an easy warmup swim. Within about 2-3 minutes, the FE that just started his/her swim, gets out and heads to the locker room, head hung low, ego shattered. This effect is further amplified if the FE is a body builder or incredible hulk type. The FE will also give you the evil eye if you happen to meet their gaze through the window as they leave the locker room. A FE will never ask for advice or insight, as they are too distraught.
The Creepy Sauna Guy - The CSG is a Stalker subtype that seems to be in the sauna 24/7. How does he breathe that hot air so long? Where does he get all his life sustaining moisture from? He's just too creepy to ask.
The Naked Sit-up Guy - The NSG feels that the best place to do his pre-swim ab workout is perched atop the bench in the locker room doing legs-in-the-air naked ab crunches "facing" the main aisle. In the pool, NSG is probably also an Exhibitionist, but you don't really want to look at him again to find out.
The Connoisseur - Usually a graying middle aged guy, a connoisseur always seems to bring a new 20-24 year old non-swimmer asian girl to lap swim. Lap swim activities include teaching the girl to kick and float whilst using questionable hand grip locations. Also frequently likes to hug, make out with, and rub up against his understudy, but usually never enough to be noticed by lifeguards. Where does he find all those girls? Eww.
Rip Van Winkle:
Guy shows up at the pool in just his trunks, carrying his goggles, walks over to the bleachers, and lies down on the bottom bleacher. He sleeps for about 20 minutes or so. Once he awakens, he swims a bit.
I've seen a cross of this guy and Mr. Nonchalant and The Natural.
He only shows up in the summer on a nice day. He looks to be about 45 going on 30. When a lane clears, he gets out of his lawn chair and jumps in the water in board shorts and then proceeds to kick a couple hundred yards on his back at a very fast pace, much of it under water. Then he busts right out into a flawless 300 IM. It could be a 400 IM but he doesn't do the fly because that would actually be work. And besides, he doesn't want to show off. He just wants to blend in. He just can't help it that he is so smooth.
Then he hops out and puts his Ipod and shades back on and sits back in a lawn chair. He would probably be top 10 in Masters if he took it half way serious for a couple of months, but he is happy just swimming a few hundred yards once or twice a week.
now I owe you five cents :badday:
Geeeeez, That Guy, consider it a gift, from the bottom of my heart (and pocket). :D
Keep the Swimming Stereotypes coming! They have been :lmao:!
