Equipment Rep
Trains with every piece of equipment available at all times.
The Luddite
Trains with nothing. Only uses a loin cloth and goggles in workout.
The Barnacle
Leaves right on your feet. Couldn't count to five or ten if his life depnded on it.
The Coach
Not an actual coach, but someone who is consumed with technique. Swimming is a precise set of moves that can be broken down, categorized, and scientifically analyzed.
The Jaded
Could care less about technique. Just wants to swim and leave the analysis to the eggheads.
The Swimaholic
Trains at least 10 swimming workouts a week. Anything less is viewed as not trying.
Fast Guy who Never Trains
Shows up once a month and breaks national records in practice.
Hardest Working Man in the Swim Business
Trains like a ferocious animal in workout, but has no speed when it comes to racing.
Lane Guy
Works out in a lane that is far too fast or slow for him.
The Crack Guy
Dude, pull your swimsuit up or get a bigger size.
The Newbie
Shows up to practice in board shorts and a scuba mask.
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As for myself, I would fall into the categories of Luddite and Jaded. Also, I wrote this from a male perspective, but the women are included as well. Any other stereotypes?
How about the Inspired Olympian?
This guy/girl just got through watching 14 straight days of NBC coverage of the Olympics and has decided that Phelps, Piersol, Torres, et al will need some help in the next games and he/she is just the person to do it; despite the fact that his/her last competitive swim was in 8 & Under as 2nd leg of the 4 x 50 relay.
Gym/pool membership: $600.00
Performance body suit: $375.00
Goggles, fins, paddles, snorkel, Team USA cap, speedo backpack, bouy, tether, kickboard: $250.00
Swimming for 3 weeks, a combined 8500 yards total, then completely dropping the idea all together: Priceless
Blue
And back to the topic of the thread:
The Turn Blocker
This person is a very social swimmer that makes a special trip over to your lane to chat with the person in the lane next to you. He/she gets right in the middle of the lane on the end of the lane, making it almost impossible to do a backstroke turn. This type of swimmer can be a real hazard during warm-ups at meets, as he/she will engage several people in a conversation, all at the end of the lane. Any hope of practicing turns during warm-up at the meet is shot down when The Turn Blocker gets in your lane.
Last week I observed a lap swimmer take 35 strokes for 25 yards of freestyle and 25 strokes for breaststroke. Anybody got any butterfly stats? :afraid:
A Lap Swimmer doing Fly?? Have NEVER seen one of those. Scary thought.
By the way, pre-noodles, my wife and I had always referred to them, particularly the ones who "fill" a lane as Turtles and Whales. (Kind of insulting to the real animals, I guess)
The Smacker
You don't want to share a lane with this guy or gal. Guaranteed, no matter how hard you try to stay on your side of the lane, he/she will smack your head while he/she is swimming on the other side of the lane. This is true whether you are splitting the lane or circle swimming. The Smacker somehow finds a way to smack you even while swimming in another lane because he/she rides the lane rope. Doing breaststroke sets while The Smacker is swimming in even an adjacent lane can be deadly as this individual will somehow end up kicking you, usually in a bad place. When the coach announces a set using paddles, you immediately think of a way to get about two lanes over from The Smacker so that you don't end up with a black eye, a laceration, or a concussion.
A Lap Swimmer doing Fly?? Have NEVER seen one of those. Scary thought.
Oh sure, I've seen it plenty of times. Generally one of the following:
- The Closer - A lap swimmer rests a few minutes and then finishes their workout with a 100 im sprint
- The Brave One - A slow swimmer does a set of 100 im's (and doesn't substitute free for fly)
- The Idiot - After seeing me do some fly, he attempts to imitate me, though he does not know what he's doing. One time I had two of them going at once, it was awesomely terrible.
Nothing wrong with the first two; they're swimming hard. And The Idiot is worth his weight in comedy gold. (Yes, The Idiot is always male. The Brave One is usually female. The Closer is usually male.)
The Macho Stud: This is the guy that always gets into the lane next to the (very) pregnant woman and makes sure to start his warm-up (an all-out sprint) when said pregnant woman is coming out of a turn (off the same wall) on a long pull set.
Needless to say, said pregnant woman keeps the strokes long and relaxed looking while making damn sure to kick the Macho Stud's Ass--thus dubbing her something but I can't think of anything good...
Needless to say, said pregnant woman keeps the strokes long and relaxed looking while making damn sure to kick the Macho Stud's Ass--thus dubbing her something but I can't think of anything good...
Dara Torres?
