Age Group Advice - PASSION?

Who cares?! 8 year old times are irrelevant and virtually no indicator of future success. Pushy parents are the worst! All kids, even those who LOVE swimming, hate those kind of parents and gossip about them relentlessly. Stand back and cheer on good effort. Then shut up. Your only worry is getting them to practice on time, buying equipment and cheering some. Young boys are notorious for finding swimming quite dull. It is compared to ball sports. They're swimming up and down a lane line and it might hurt to go fast. Some very young boys have that early passion, but I think it kicks in more around 11-12 for boys. If it doesn't kick in for swimming, let him find/pick the sport he loves. My boy, now 15, had natural swimming talent, but had NO interest in joining a USA team. He's intensely and passionately into running now. My daughter, by contrast, was into swimming and racing at a young age and had early success. Her coaches encouraged her, but reminded her that there are "no elite swimmers who are 10." It's not what you do at that age, it's whether you have the temperment and tenacity and passion to stick with swimming over the long haul. You also have to be willing to forgo other sports and give up a big chunk of your social life. Not for everyone, thus swimming is a high burnout sport. If you start pushing now, you could see an early fry. 2x a week in an organized program is plenty for a boy of 8, if that. The emphasis should be on fun IMHO. Every kid is different though. Some have fire and passion and competitive drive immediately, some develop it when they find their niche, and some just aren't jazzed by sports. Gotta experiment. With the exception of the Boston Red Sox Logo, FOrtress is right on the money. My 7 year old is in the swimming program with other 7 year olds (very competitive age group team). It SHOULD BE ALL ABOUT FUN. If he wants 2 times a week great. If he wants to blow it off one day, fine by me. Kids that start young are in grave danger of burning out. Also...don;t let the team pressure you into year round participation! There is a season for everything. PS--Kurt Grote started swimming at age 15!!!

I'll try to keep this on subject and avoid the "my kid is better than your kid" discussion. I agree with Stud in that there is nothing wrong with coaching your kids. It's something you can do together, provided it stays healthy. Having an 8 year old swimmer and being around them most days, I think, just like adults, they come in all shapes and sizes and needs for swimming. Some need the push, others don't. A good coach can figure this out and step up or back off. While I agree that you don't have to excel at a sport between 8-12 to become good at it, I also believe if you stink at a sport at that age, you probably won't develop into something more than average. I believe this to be a general principle, with obvious noteworthy exceptions. Many of my friends play/played college or pro sports and none started after the age of 12.

I'll try to keep this on subject and avoid the "my kid is better than your kid" discussion. I agree with Stud in that there is nothing wrong with coaching your kids. It's something you can do together, provided it stays healthy. Maybe so, but I'd wonder how many parents with this philosophy were "coached" by their parents and liked it. I know there are probably some. The parents I knew who felt the need to "coach" their kids usually went overboard in my opinion. There's a fine line and I have to watch it with swimming more than any other activity with my kids. I really think they just want me to tell them I'm proud of them for getting in there and doing their best.

We have had a few boys that have been able to excel with a starting point of high school, but I think these boys were exceptional athletes. When watching the little kids, you can tell which ones are naturals and if they stick with it they will be good. My son was one of those 8 year old naturals, good feeling for the water, good athletism, kinda small and scrawny which hurt against the boys who matured faster, but he always kept up. But Fort is right, High School brings choices, and our high school has no swim team. He decided to quit swimming to pursue other things when he was almost 17. I have seen too many kids quit earlier than that because their parents push them to go to too many practices, too many meets, pit them against their friends. Let the kids be kids and have fun. I have so much fun with my daughter at meets. She is middle of the pack, but she usually has a realistic goal she wants to achieve, if she misses it, it is not the end of the world, and then we get to go.......shop!

Most kids hate this. I'd leave it to the coaches. On the rare occasion when I try to say something in a constructive way, I get the "look." Mollie: Mini-Fort only swam 2x a week through age 10. As you know, no adverse effect. It's just not worth overtraining when young. I have a 9yo fishgirl. I give advice on little things but I ask for her permission before I mention things and I let her know that if she feels I am being too 'pushy' to say something. She has spoken up once so I hope that I am helping not hurting. Considering that she has turned down other sports to swim, I feel good right now. BUT, and this a HUGE one. I continue to tell her that I want HER to enjoy it and if it comes to a point where she no longer enjoys swimming (as opposed to not wanting to practice occasionally, we've all been there) then it's time to move on. But so far, in the 2 years since she started competing, she's loving it so I keep my fingers/toes/etc crossed. Paul

Maybe so, but I'd wonder how many parents with this philosophy were "coached" by their parents and liked it. I know there are probably some. The parents I knew who felt the need to "coach" their kids usually went overboard in my opinion. There's a fine line and I have to watch it with swimming more than any other activity with my kids. I really think they just want me to tell them I'm proud of them for getting in there and doing their best. I agree. It's one thing to give your kid a few tips in rec soccer, as Rich has done, explaining off side rules, reminding them to use their left foot, etc. But it's easy to go over the line. When they get to travel soccer or travel whatever, it's better to shut your mouth. This applies to swimming, which is likewise professionally coached. If you feel the professional coach hasn't addressed a particular issue, speak with the coach or get the kid a private lesson on the side. It's fairly easy, I find, to be a good swim parent for young kids. I think it's more challenging when they get older. It'd be nice to have a set of "ten commandments" as to how to deal with teenagers on the rollercoaster wailing about whether and when they'll ever improve. Personally, I'm pretty burned out myself, LOL, so my youngest just swims 1x a week with her summer swim league group. I coach, but never her lane.

While I agree that you don't have to excel at a sport between 8-12 to become good at it, I also believe if you stink at a sport at that age, you probably won't develop into something more than average. Well, Geek, triathlons, as you know, are one of those noteworthy exceptions to this rule. I'm sure my kids will all be better triathletes than your kids. :thhbbb: :thhbbb: :joker:

My kid and I swim together 2 or 3 times a month. It is good time we spend together. I let her write the workout and be the "coach." This means I do a whole lot of fly while she does a whole lot of nothing or the "Hawaiian" breastroke. If fitness is part of your family routine together it doesn't have to be coaching, it can be plain ole fun (and they might even learn something). Triathlon is three sports, not one. And, Fort, I have no doubt your kids are faster, stronger, and smarter that just about everyone's elses.

I don't know. There was a dad on one team I coached that used to tell his daughter constantly that she needed to beat her best friend. He was really obnoxious. He would be obviously irritated if she didn't win. It was just so very obvious that HE was the one that needed to be in the water racing. I think just being there for your kid 100% goes a really long way. Unconditional love and support are what kids need from parents. The coach can be the one to apply a little "pressure" or motivation if needed, IMHO. lots of pressure from parents is not a good thing, thats why I hate watching the little league world champioship on tv. They are like these kids are just here to have fun. Thats bs, there is so much pressure on thoes kids, they are on national tv and its only the one of the most important moments of their life. They obviously can't handle that at age 12. I think all of us know some raging alcoholic that yells at their kid when they mess up in sports, it's so ridulous that its almost humerous but its sad at the same time. A little pressure is good though but the coach needs to do it and the parents need to lay off a little but they should still encourage their child. Some times little league gets out of hand. In swimming, not so much. But baseball and football are ridiculous. We just need to keep it undercoltrol and stick to the point of having fun but there should still be encouragement to win.

I think all of us know some raging alcoholic that yells at their kid when they mess up in sports, You make it sound like this is the sole province of alcoholics...;) Yelling at your kid to do this or that in the game is not good, encouraging them is though. If I ever mention something to mine it's some time after the game when no others are around; embrassment of being "told" by your parents infront of others blocks any potential learning--it's also a good idea to know what the coaches are working on etc.