kids: parent of 8 year old needs help!

I have even coached basketball players never played basketball. It was a great team.

Bip: I would like to interview as your child's coach. You and I seem to be on the same page. I was an All-American swimmer in college, I have an advanced degree and I am maticulous, organized etc... People like me expect to make $100K per year (I am only 29), but I am certain that won't be a problem because I am exactly what you are looking for. The sad fact is, you are right to hope more from your coach, but unrealistic to expect it. So the only question is, should you offer up suggestions to the coach? I don't think that will help. PS: In the long run it won't really matter anyhow. Your daughter either has it or she doesn't. When she gets older a great coach will be able to draw it out of her, I am sure of it. Good luck!

Originally posted by bip I'm having a lot of difficulty with the suggestion that technique isn't important, or relevant. I'm also having a lot of difficulty with the suggestion that fun and technique are mutually exclusive, or with the suggestion that only a pushy parent would want both. This has nothing to do with my not approving of the coaching "style" of the person. I know that I did not suggest at any point that technique is not important. I would never say that. I work with kids your daughters age, my age (not really a kid), and teenagers and technique is important at any age! If the coach that is in question is new, she/he is still finding their groove in dealing with the kids and their parents. Just think of this, how would you feel if there were fifty parents looking over your shoulder constantly at your job and always evaluating your work? I would imagine that this would be pretty tough for any profession. It is hard to be under a microscope every time you set out to do your job and learn in the process. I know that when I first started I was extremely anxious at the fact that there were all eyes and ears on me. This coach should be given a chance to get used to being on "stage" night after night.

I have a feeling that suggestions from you would not be welcome, especially if this is as weak of a coach as you say. Really, I would find her a private teacher you can trust, that you know knows the stuff. And one that is fun, and will bond with your daughter. I believe an 8 year old CAN make a decision if a program is right for her. I don't discount that a child of this age can partake in decisions like this, they are little people and have opinions. I remember what it is like to have my 8 year old in swimming and it is exciting and you want the best for them. And technique is VERY important at this age. So if she is not getting it there, and it is not an option to move programs, then seek out technique elsewhere. You can TRY to help her yourself, but sometimes that really is not the best for her or you. My daughter is 12. She takes a semi-private half hour lesson once a week and does two 10 week sessions during the season, one in the fall, one in the winter. We have not done this in the summer due to the distance to this guys house from our house(in the winter he moves his lessons to Champaign). I let her choose that she wanted to do this. She feels it really helps her a lot, plus this guy comes and watches the kids race, so he sees how the strokes break down in races too and then takes it back to the lesson to help them there. These lessons are not an overnight cure. It takes time for them to learn, apply and train. I have taken lessons from him myself, and he is very good. Try to ask around the competive community and see if there is someone like this there. Parents are your best resource.

So teach her what you know. It has been done many times before. You are the technique tutor and the coach gives her the practice time she needs for training. Your daughter is 8. She is incapable of being conflicted, she just wants to have fun with her friends. If she likes to race, you will have to make sure she gets the training to excel, because she certainly does not know what to do. If the coach cannot or will not give her the technique training you think she needs to move on to another level of competition, it is up to you to make sure that she gets it. It really boils down to the amount of time you are willing to invest in your daughter's swimming. The coach that you have described and your strong feelings about his competency have already determined what you think needs to be done. Now you have to decide whether or not you will do it.

Bip At eight years of age I would suggest you relax a little and don't be pushy even though you say you are not. Let her get into the feel of swimming with a coach and give this coach a chance. If she moves up to the next rung of coaches too soon that could be worse than having what you think, a bad coach. Not all good coaches have the credentials, but I do know bad coaches that have all the credentials that I would not let a child of mine swim for. Coach shopping has ruined swimming in Canada. Every one wanted to move to swim for the Johnstons and boy were they burned.

Lacking credentials is one thing... never having swum competitively, AND never having coached, AND no credentials is a different thing entirely. Anyway, it seems most of you want to make an assumption that only a pushy parent could take the position that I'm taking, even though you have no evidence of my being pushy. If I was pushy, I would already have stepped in, spoken to the coach about my concerns, and started coaching her myself. I'm deathly afraid of that, as I see those kinds of parents everywhere and they horrify me. Of course she's old enough to be conflicted. When she joined I was concerned that it might be too much (combined with her other spsorts) and so I said she could join and then decide after 2-4 weeks whether she was ok with it. So now, in asking her how she feels, she indicates that she can't make up her mind. She comes to me often to say she doesn't know whether she wants to stay. She says she likes swimming with her friend, but she doesn't like the fact that no-one is helping her with her freestyle and butterfly anymore, and she is scared of embarrassing herself in those strokes. I try to reassure her, but she keeps saying she doesn't know whether she wants to keep doing it, but doesn't say one way or another whether she wants to quit. When I tell her it's ok to quit, she says no. My daughter is one of those kids that loves to be taught, and (yes, even at 8) has great focus. (also, she's a real goodie two shoes, teacher's pet, etc) So, she doesn't like to feel that she's "just swimming", as she puts it. She's asked the coach for specific help and told "don't worry, you have many years to learn to swim". She's used to her other sports where she always gets instruction. Maybe she's been spoiled by a succession of great coaches who had no problem combining fun with teaching. Of course all of them have actually played the sports they were teaching and were keen to pass on that joy. Michael Heather's comment is to the point. I'm quite prepared to devote the time, but I don't want to rub the coach the wrong way, and worried whether I would be overstepping my mark. (and worried about looking pushy, although I gather from the postings that I'm already guilty on that point) Also, if I did do it, I would be interested in any tips (direction, referrals to books, articles, etc) that would allow me to provide some basic coaching that would not conflict with the coach. There are some basics to swimming that I'm sure everyone agrees on, but I'm sure there are some other things I might pass on that might conflict with whatever the coach is learning in her "learn to coach class". Besides, where my daughter needs the most help, I'm the most vulnerable. (I was a pathetic butterfly swimmer - but she quite likes it) I feel like I'm only good for breastroke and distance freestyle. So, if I do gingerly help, any suggestions on sources for things I can pass on that will be very neutral and common to all coaching techniques?

Bip Where do you live in Canada I may have some suggestions as to coahes in your area.

Originally posted by bip Lacking credentials is one thing... never having swum competitively, AND never having coached, AND no credentials is a different thing entirely. Anyway, it seems most of you want to make an assumption that only a pushy parent could take the position that I'm taking, even though you have no evidence of my being pushy. If I was pushy, I would already have stepped in, spoken to the coach about my concerns, and started coaching her myself. I'm deathly afraid of that, as I see those kinds of parents everywhere and they horrify me. My USS swim coach did not have any competitive swimming experience at all, but we were an EXTREMELY successful team and he was and still is an excellent coach. We had olympians on our team and more JO qualifiers than you could shake a stick at. Sure its helpful to have been a competative swimmer, but not necessary if you understand the sport. I am a coach and a mother of a 10 year old girl (who is not in my group). I watch as she is coached and although we have different styles, I don't: 1. make suggestions to the coach 2. coach her on the side. After all, the head coach should be making sure that all of his/her helpers are going in the right direction. I run into parents that ask questions like this on a daily basis and at 8, as long as she is happy, healty and not in any danger then don't worry. If you were to approach me (and only if you were to come and approach me), I would think that you were pushy. Just my two cents!

As EyeoreSAM says there have been several of the top swim coaches in the world have even been non swimmers. Robert Kiputh for one member of the hall of fame.