Ladies & Gentlemen,
Let's face it. Life is not fair. The race and the accolades go to the swiftest and the most genetically endowed. Those Lords and Ladies of the pool (and we all know who they are), could go on a six month gin and dunkin doughnuts binge (not necessarily together), never touching chlorinated water the whole time, while the rest of us labor away achieving lifetime best times and levels of fitness. At the end of that six month period, a member of that aforementioned nobility could show up at our favorite pool, still intoxicated, fighting off the flu, and sleep deprived from a night on the town the preceding "evening." AND, said person will still kick our asses from one of the pool to the other in our best race, with no real doubt as to the evenual outcome of the race. Sadly, swimming is a sport with all the dramatic tension of a corronation march (or the NBA playoffs). Everyone knows who the 1% of the field is who has a shot of winning the event, and the secret as a coach to "winning" swim meets is not how well you coach the swimmers you have, but recruiting more swimmers who on the worst day of their careers are still faster than 95% of the rest of the team. It is a cruel verity of our chosen sport.
However, in the midst of all that darkness, I give you the one stroke that shines through like a shaft of light, caught by a diamond (or an exceptionally well made cubit zirconia), spilling its prismatic spendlor on the uplifted faces of the countless thralls laboring away in their mediocrity. I give you the *** stroke, God's own gift to people who cannot compete in the other three normal strokes. You doubt, nay you scoff at my assertion. In support, I offer the following observation. Consider the 4x100 free relay at the world class level. This is indeed the acid test of the depth of a nation's swimming excellence. I ask you, who swims on this relay? In addition to obvious freestyle sprinters, I can think of relays where the nations have turned to their distance freestylers (Schoeman, Hackett), their middle distance freestylers (Thorpe), their IMers (Phelps), their flyers (Crocker) and even their backstrokers (Walker), when in the harsh fluorescent light of the coach's office, one lonely man asks of himself, "I have one shot at my legacy; who would be the 4 fastest on that particular night?" I defy you, name me one 400 free relay that finaled in a major competition and had the nation's best *** stroker on the team?
My fellow swimmers I give you the New Yorker reading, brie munching, French vintage loving *** stroke. Proof positive that if their is room in swimming for these palookas, there is hope for each and every one of us to excell in some damn, fool made up competition that has no relation to actual athleticism.
Matt
Originally posted by Matt S
EGAD! I think I liked it better when the *** stroke advocates filled the web pages of this discussion space with their lyrical panegyrics to the beauty and esthetic pleasure of swimming's most eccentric stroke.
Matt
The frog kick: it's a beautiful thing! Of course, now with the avant-garde of the *** stroking world turning to the postmodern dolphin kick, there will be no more wine and cheese with the screenings of *** stroke videos. No Alistair Cooke introductions....
Intro's to videos will be accompanied by new age music, and those discussing the stroke will bandy about such terms as "deconstruction" and "hegemony" and will use the word "privilege" as a verb as they sip soy milk and sake. A cultural revolution....
Just sayin'...
Originally posted by Blue Horn
For those that think breaststroke is easy, you aren't doing it right. When swum correctly it is as difficult or harder than butterfly. Try a 20 x 100 (LCM) on the 1:30 and tell me that breaststoke is a lazy stroke.
Oh my misguided brother in Maize & Blue, do my ears deceive me? You are arguing that we should take the *** stroke more seriously because of the suffering necessary to swim it almost as fast as the other four strokes?
Oh how mistaken I have been all these years, if that were true. I always thought the purpose of conditioning and stroke improvement was to be able to swim at the same rate of speed more EASILY and spending less energy to do so. Then, when the day of the race arrives and I push myself to my limits, I will be suffering to swim FASTER. In particular, I have spent many hours trying to learn an easy and relaxed butterfly. This is so I can chose how far I swim and how fast I swim this stroke. How foolish I have been.
You are telling me the Tao of the *** stroke is to make it hurt while you are swimming. If you do so, then you will almost be able to swim it on an interval that would be no problem for the other strokes.
EGAD! I think I liked it better when the *** stroke advocates filled the web pages of this discussion space with their lyrical panegyrics to the beauty and esthetic pleasure of swimming's most eccentric stroke.
Matt
Breaststroke the ugly, the slowest, the most useless, has caused more knee troubles, then any other stroke. It should only be allowed in lifesaving competitions.
Brothas and sistas, I used to (I blush to admit this) be a (gasp!) lap swimmer, relying wholly upon *** stroke to take me through my half mile swim, and yes, even feeling a great sense of accomplishment upon completing said distance.
But then.... I saw the light! It was a gradual process. We're not talking Pauline style conversion, being knocked off a horse or whatever the swimming equivalent is. So it's hard to know when the true conversion occurred.... maybe when a flier or freestyler splashed by sending water up my mouth and nose.... maybe when the lifeguard after six hours or so asked me if I was almost finished because really he had to lock up.... maybe when as an injured runner I turned to the pool, the only venue where I had any hope of satisfying my need for speed (water running wasn't cutting it).
But I began, if haltingly, to return to practicing the freestyle I'd left behind in my more youthful and innocent days before *** stroke and brie, before the New Yorker and Chardonnay clouded my vision. The odd side effects were a bit alarming... a liking for daytime and IBM instead of internet start-ups.... But the buzz, oh the buzz! Not to mention the buzz-cut swimmers who began to take notice and the small children who looked on in awe (or was that amazement that freestyle could be done so slowly?).
One day, I noticed a sign in the Y, inviting sinners to repent... oh ... er... ah ... announcing a masters' swim group forming. It was time to return to the fold... to high elbows and fingertip drills and kick and pull buoy sets to reform for the sins of my past life. And yes, I am now healed, brothers and sisters! Swimming freestyle again, hallejujah!
Of course, there are occasional backslides into *** stroke, but then I catch the gimlet eye of the lifeguard with the key to the pool and switch to a stroke that will get me finished before midnight. (Admittedly not long before midnight, but still...)
Originally posted by Blue Horn
For those that think breaststroke is easy, you aren't doing it right. When swum correctly it is as difficult or harder than butterfly. Try a 20 x 100 (LCM) on the 1:30 and tell me that breaststoke is a lazy stroke.
I'll concede that my *** stroke isn't ready for competition prime time.... Just caught up in the kidding around, no offense meant. I have seen ppl *** stroke faster than my freestyle--okay, low bar here, but still....
For those that think breaststroke is easy, you aren't doing it right. When swum correctly it is as difficult or harder than butterfly. Try a 20 x 100 (LCM) on the 1:30 and tell me that breaststoke is a lazy stroke.
I agree the timing on breaststroke makes it very difficult but all the strokes done with any speed are difficult. I was in my youth suited more for breaststroke and butterfly which seems an interesting combination because I'm short and heavier built than mose freestylers or backstrokers. Since I gain a lot of weight and loss some upper-body strength, I more of a breaststroker than a flyer or freestyler in middle age. I see a lot of lap swimmer doing head up breaststroke or even lowering their head that have great difficulty with the kick. They prefer to do breaststroke since they have trouble doing the side breathing of freestyle and they of course don't do an underwater pull with breastroke which is what makes competitive breaststroke harder because of losing oxgen on the turns,just like with freestyle doing flipped turns loses oxgen as well.
To the uninformed… It is spelled b-r-e-a-s-t-s-t-r-o-k-e. It is one word and yes, there is a double ST in there. Even if you can’t swim it fast, you can at least spell it correctly.
For those that can find a reason to swim breaststroke I will tell you two very powerfull reasons:
First: so you are not disqualified in a 200 IM and second.......
:rolleyes: ...........:( ..........:confused: ...........well the firstone is very powerfull itself.
:D
