I have wrestled with myself whether or not to post this due to the appearance of self pity, and I hope no one takes it this way.
Many of you don't know me personally as I have not been a very active person on the national scene due to family and work constraints. I have participated in a few national championships and have been our state LMSC chairman for the past 2 years. I have been somewhat vocal on this board when issues discussed have been brought up where I thought I could post an opinion that made sense. With that being said, let me tell you my story, thanks in advance for taking the time to read this.
I have been swimming Masters now for about 5 years after taking a 10 year hiatus from collegiate swimming. I love working out and feeling better in the water more importantly, out of the water. I think all of us can relate to how great it feels to swim and the friendships we have in the pool. I love the sport and I truly feel my swimming background has contributed so much to my success out of the pool with my family and career. Swimming teaches us you get out of it what you put into it, and that there are no shortcuts to success.
I have been bedridden now for the past 5 weeks because of a chronic back problem in which I can't walk due to a pinched nerve in my lower back. I have had 3 prioir operations for the same issues and since I have been swimming have had very few problems. This is the main reason I got back into swimming and am so anal about working out.
After trying all other methods to avoid a 4th operation, it is obvious that surgery is inevitable. At only 36 years old it scares me a lot as to what the next 50 years of my life will be. Will I be dealing with operations or will this be it? Needless to say, being out of the pool has been one of the hardest aspects of this. (Not being able to play with my kids and do things with my wife has been the worst.)
We are probably travelling to Houston next week (we will know more after I speak to the physiatrist here) for the operation and I hope to be in the pool relatively soon after. Every doctor/health professional we have seen have been dumbfounded as to why I have these problems, however all of them agree that swimming is the best therpy for my condition. I am sad in the fact that I might not be able to compete again, but do hope for the best.
Please understand that this message is not one of self pity, but one af asking for your encouragement, thoughts and prayers. Even though I don't know most of you personally, I consider you friends because we all share the same passion for this sport.
This message is so hard for me to post, and asking for help is not easy, especially from people I don't know. However, it is somewhat therapeutic (sp?) to tell my story with these words and on this board.
Again thank you for your time and I will let you know how everything goes in the next weeks/months. I hope to see y'all in the pool very soon!
In December 2000 I had two discs in my back repaired, L3-4 and L4-5, the latter was actually ruptured. I never figured out what I did to cause the injury and there are several theories, but it took about three months trying rest and ice and physical therapy before I had surgery to repair the discs. During that time and right after the surgery I was in such excruciating pain and wondered if this was how the rest of my life would be as there are people who live with severe chronic pain. I am happy to report my surgery was a success and I am now back in the pool training better/smarter than ever. I had a neurosurgeon perform microdiscectomies. As you know the surgery can be successful but its a long road back from there and a person wonders if a complete recovery is possible. For me, not being able to swim again was unacceptable and swimming is still the best activity for me. As soon as I was able I got back in the pool, just walking at first, then swimming with a lot of kicking after I was allowed to lift my arms. I still have one disc that bulges and I do everything I can to keep L5-S1 happy.
Hang in there, I know it seems bleak now but do what you have to and get your life back, it's definitely worth the journey . . .
Sam I know every masters swimmer out there is saying a prayer or having only good get well thoughts for you. It is a long haul and alot of stress but in the end hopefully it will all be worth it one way or another. Ann Goodman just swam at our SCM Zone meet and you would never know she had such a bad back problem. She was wonderful. So hang in there and all the postive things in the world be on and with u thru this all. We will be watching for updates from you and when you will be back in the old pool doing your thing. Best of Luck
Sam -
In '92 (when I was 37) I fell down the stairs, messing up my back but good as well as breaking a few bones. I had surgery, spent 10 weeks in a hospital bed and 10 months on crutches. I've had on-and-off problems since, so I know where you are coming from. All this occured during a time when my wife was trying to recover from surgery for a tumor in her head and I had to take care of everything - house, animals, working, etc. In addition, we lost almost everything twice due to medical bills and the company I worked for folding while owing me much $$. It took 9 years to get things under reasonable control and get to the point where I wasn't on a first name basis with every collection agency and lawyer on the east coast.
I swear to God that I wouldn't trade the experience for anything. It made me appreciate every moment that I have, every lap that I swim and every time my wife smiles at me in a way I never knew before.
There is an old zen saying that "When you keep one eye on the goal you only have one eye left to follow the path." So please don't worry about the future - just do what you must to get through today. Get the best direction, put the bit in your mouth, and pull like a draft horse and keep pulling no matter what.
I'm pulling for you too.
-LBJ
Thanks for noticing I had a good meet. What Joy doesn't mention is that while we were in the cool down lane and she was congratulating me on my 200 backstroke (my best one of the meet), Karen Andrus-Hughes was swimming her heat, beating me in my age group by 22 seconds and setting a zone record! The important thing for this post is that there was a time when I didn't know if I would walk again without pain, there was that dark time, but the surgery helped me and I did recover enough to get back to this point. I won't do the yard work I used to, or dig ditches, which I have done in my younger days, and I don't flex my back on starts like the pros, however there is life after back surgery. I have had people say to me that they would never consider having back surgery and I reply that they have never been where I was, a person has to do what is right for them and that is a personal decision.
You are a sweet person Joy, thanks again . . .
Sam
Do what you need to do and get healthy. I want another crack at you!
I'll send my number through a private message and if you want to talk, I'll be there.
Fritz
Sam,
Best of luck, I'm looking forward to your quick return! You've got my email address/phone so please don't hesitate to call.
PS: I've had two knee surgeries, a shoulder surgery (another on the way), Laura's had knee & shoulder surgery, so between the two of us we're trying to keep pace with you!
Thanks for sharing that with us Sam.....I appreciate hearing your story and I will pray for you to get well soon......I wish you the very best of luck with this.....Please keep believing....Sometimes things can really look grim (and depressing) ...like having a serious medical setback like you have suffered....but you can still make it! It's inspirational to read about other people's stories and how they were able to overcome similar obstacles....I hope that some of those stories can help provide you with some positive hope for the future....Hang in there b/c we're all going to be pulling for you!!
newmastersswimmer
Thank you so much all of you! You can't believe how heartwarming it is to read these replies each day.
Many of you who have replied don't know me from Adam, and I am truly thankful for this community and your enxouraging words. I hope I never have to return the gesture, but please know that when I am back on my feet (no pun intended), I will hopefully have a story I can share when someone needs to hear it from me.
Fritz, I will take you up on that challenge someday I promise.
We are heading to Houston sometime in the next week for surgery that is scheduled for Thursday 12/2/04. I will post here after the surgery to let everyone know how it all went.
Again, thanks so much for the replies and stories each day they are lifting my spirits.
Houston has some of the finest neurosurgeons in the world, so you'll be in great hands.
I'm looking forward to reading about your successful return to competition in USMS Swimmer.
