my mother

Cynthia, I have lost both my parents; my mother, in 1992, to lung cancer; and my father, this past January, also to lung cancer. It is a hard thing, but please know that there are many, many people who support you in this forum and elsewhere. You have our prayers and best wishes. It may seem weird to say this, but I think that a small part of the worry over losing our parents is that we simultaneously must acknowledge our own mortality. The fact that you have chosen to swim may seem to some not that big a deal, but I think this will help you in your own life, and reduce your own risk of heart disease and perhaps diabetes (is this the cause of your mother losing her foot?) I just got back from a post swimming practice beerfest with my teammates, and perhaps am not making as much sense as I wish I could. I guess my only message here is that you are not alone in what you are facing, and that many, many people are going through similar things and you have the support and prayers of a whole community that know you mainly through your writing. Good luck to your mother; good luck to you as well. I know she is proud of her daughter.

Thanks Jim. Yes, my mother has had diabetes since her 30's and now is in her sixties. There are just 20 years differences in our ages. And the swimming helps me a little with weight control even though I still overweight. And I stilll swim fair compared to the general public and she-my mother was the one who suggest that I workout a little in swimming a few year ago. They may put a vein back into her foot. I don't know now if they will remove another toe or the foot yet. Its just in the past few years after she had a heart attack that some of there other health problems are manfesting like the diabetes with severe sores on the toes.

Diabetes does affect the lower limbs. She may have had a foot ulcer. There is a treatment called HBO (hyperbaric oxygen therapy) that can help heal this type of ulcers. I know a friend that had diabetes and had this on her foot and it would not heal and this treatment helped her to heal . Loosing a parent is a road we all some day must painfully travel. I have been on that road once. And some day will have to travel it again. I take comfort in my time I have had with my surviving parent. I hope everthing goes well for your mother.

My thoughts are with you and your mom. Take care - keep swimming - you can only help your mom if you stay healthy yourself (mentally and physically). Your mom can gain strength from your strength. I know that many other discussion users are touched by your post. Although we don't know you personally, we know you through your posts. The swimming world is an extended family; we care. Lexa

Cinc310: My mother also lost a limb due to diabetes and cancer-related complications- it's a dreadful process to have to watch someone go through (to say the least); I now have a maternal aunt who is suffering from diabetes (and cancer) also; if anything, this has forced me to REALLY reconsider certain lifestyle and dietary habits (and start a masters programme), in an attempt not to suffer the same fate. So, at the risk of sounding trite, an otherwise dreadful situation may hold the seed of something positive... peace...

Thanks for the respones, everyone. I was feeling a lttle depressed. Its good to know other poeple have went threw similar things.

I've lost both parents. My Dad went downhill over several years and to be honest, his death was somewhat of a relief. I think I'd done most of my grieving over the last couple of years when his mental status deteriorated and he wasn't really the Dad I'd known all those years. My Mom went very unexpectedly a year and a half later. That was tough to handle. But my siblings are even closer than we were as a result of getting through it together. Since my family had always lived in the same house, the need to clean out and sell the house was the hardest thing for me. I had dreaded that before either of them died - and it was every bit as hard as I expected. But time does make things better. I do remember the first couple weeks right after Mom's death, I felt best after swimming and other workouts. I gave myself a break on other stuff but not exercise cause it actally helped me cope. Don't be surprised if odd things get to you, you never know what will trigger a memory. And let yourself be a little selfish when you need to be. It sounds like you are in the supporter/caretaker role right now and that's a tough one. And some fear is normal, just means you are a caring human being.

Cynthia, I am so sorry to hear how serious your mother's health problems are. I understand your fear of losing her. I lost my last grandparent this past January, and it hit me like a slap in the face that my parents will probably be next. I recently went on a vacation with my parents, and was really pretty nasty to my mother about her hearing loss. Really had a hard time being patient with having to repeat things and enunciate more clearly for her. I finally realized what's really going on is that I'm mad at her for getting old! I don't like to see her giving in to old age at all. Hang in there, and know that your mom is certainly in my prayers. Meg

How old is mom

Hello Cynthia, You and I haven't exhanged comments on the forums much of late, but I was very distressed to hear of your Mom's medical problems. You are certainly not "weird" for asking folks to keep your Mom in our prayers. Please remember, Cynthia, that USMS is a community of swimmers that have become a "family." It's in this Forum that we, as "family" members look out for one another. It goes without saying that we've kept tabs on many of our fellow swimmers over the years now and certainly you've contributed to help others. Now it's our turn to help you. As with everyone else who has responded, I will keep you and your Mom in my thoughts at Church. Please consider taking advantage of the Pastoral Services at the hospital where your Mom is, if that is the case. They provide a great measure of assistance to families whose loved ones have serious medical problems. You are not alone. Our time on earth is brief, compared to eternity. However, we should take comfort in the fact that if we are of deep faith, we believe in life hereafter. I truly believe that this makes facing our mortality easier. And ... please keep up the swimming! It has certainly helped me keep off excess baggage! Take care. God's blessings. Please keep us updated. Mark