Ok, here it is. This takes a serious amount of courage for me to post this due to the obvious shame if feel here, but, I think it may help someone out there who is also experiencing the same type of situation..The following is an e-mail I wrote to Jim Thorton reaching out for him for guidance and help in this terrible time.
Jim:
I have not posted in two months now due to my severe depression. My wife of 25 years (whom I love dearly left me on 5 Aug.--no hope for our marriage). I attempted an honest crack at Jerry's way out that night...and one other time. So far this past two months I have spent one 12 day stint in the hospital and another week stint in the hospital attempting to deal with this very, very serious problem. To date, I have been unable to shake this thing. I see no hope for my life and frankly the pain and torment is so great that I really do not give a rat’s rear end about anything at this point. My problem is a simply one. I HATE being locked up..and all these units can do for guys like me is lock us up. Heck, I take Jerry's way any day to the padded cell stuff.
Any suggestions. Currently I am on Celexa and the pain and suffering are horrendous to say the least.
Kindest regards,
Tom Ellison
Tom
What at wonderful surprise to have u back on line and still here with us. It scared me so much when I read ur last e-mail that I cried and prayed alot for u.
Hopefully u are getting a lot of good counseling and they are monitoring ur medications.
There is no reason to apologize for what life is handing u. U have done what is right in reaching out for answers u do not know in trying to find out what is the proper thing to do in a very sad and devastating situation. We are all thinking good thoughts for u and here for u if we can help in any way. Please do not think u are all alone with no where to go. Call a sponsor or counselor and have them come to be with u when u think u are really in trouble. This is only my 2 cents but I do care what happens to u.
Be good to urself and recover that self esteem u need to get on with ur life.
If ur a swimmer ur a fighter. So fight the good fight my friend and plz do not give up anymore. Reach beyond.
Tom
What at wonderful surprise to have u back on line and still here with us. It scared me so much when I read ur last e-mail that I cried and prayed alot for u.
Hopefully u are getting a lot of good counseling and they are monitoring ur medications.
There is no reason to apologize for what life is handing u. U have done what is right in reaching out for answers u do not know in trying to find out what is the proper thing to do in a very sad and devastating situation. We are all thinking good thoughts for u and here for u if we can help in any way. Please do not think u are all alone with no where to go. Call a sponsor or counselor and have them come to be with u when u think u are really in trouble. This is only my 2 cents but I do care what happens to u.
Be good to urself and recover that self esteem u need to get on with ur life.
If ur a swimmer ur a fighter. So fight the good fight my friend and plz do not give up anymore. Reach beyond.
