Ok, here it is. This takes a serious amount of courage for me to post this due to the obvious shame if feel here, but, I think it may help someone out there who is also experiencing the same type of situation..The following is an e-mail I wrote to Jim Thorton reaching out for him for guidance and help in this terrible time.
Jim:
I have not posted in two months now due to my severe depression. My wife of 25 years (whom I love dearly left me on 5 Aug.--no hope for our marriage). I attempted an honest crack at Jerry's way out that night...and one other time. So far this past two months I have spent one 12 day stint in the hospital and another week stint in the hospital attempting to deal with this very, very serious problem. To date, I have been unable to shake this thing. I see no hope for my life and frankly the pain and torment is so great that I really do not give a rat’s rear end about anything at this point. My problem is a simply one. I HATE being locked up..and all these units can do for guys like me is lock us up. Heck, I take Jerry's way any day to the padded cell stuff.
Any suggestions. Currently I am on Celexa and the pain and suffering are horrendous to say the least.
Kindest regards,
Tom Ellison
I have been tuning in to this thread from time to time starting when it first appeared. I'm feeling like it's time to chime in and tell you, Tom, that you are in my thoughts and prayers also. You are showing a lot of courage and you'll get through this. I was diagnosed a couple of years ago with depression and sought counseling and am using medication. My depression was mild compared to what yours sounds like. I know how awful even a lesser form can be, so I can't imagine what things are like for you. Obviously, there are many people out there who are "with" ya- we are all thinking of you and saying prayers for you. I'm glad you reply now and then to update us. Take things day to day, or hour to hour if you have to...good luck and God Bless.
I have been tuning in to this thread from time to time starting when it first appeared. I'm feeling like it's time to chime in and tell you, Tom, that you are in my thoughts and prayers also. You are showing a lot of courage and you'll get through this. I was diagnosed a couple of years ago with depression and sought counseling and am using medication. My depression was mild compared to what yours sounds like. I know how awful even a lesser form can be, so I can't imagine what things are like for you. Obviously, there are many people out there who are "with" ya- we are all thinking of you and saying prayers for you. I'm glad you reply now and then to update us. Take things day to day, or hour to hour if you have to...good luck and God Bless.
