Ok, here it is. This takes a serious amount of courage for me to post this due to the obvious shame if feel here, but, I think it may help someone out there who is also experiencing the same type of situation..The following is an e-mail I wrote to Jim Thorton reaching out for him for guidance and help in this terrible time.
Jim:
I have not posted in two months now due to my severe depression. My wife of 25 years (whom I love dearly left me on 5 Aug.--no hope for our marriage). I attempted an honest crack at Jerry's way out that night...and one other time. So far this past two months I have spent one 12 day stint in the hospital and another week stint in the hospital attempting to deal with this very, very serious problem. To date, I have been unable to shake this thing. I see no hope for my life and frankly the pain and torment is so great that I really do not give a rat’s rear end about anything at this point. My problem is a simply one. I HATE being locked up..and all these units can do for guys like me is lock us up. Heck, I take Jerry's way any day to the padded cell stuff.
Any suggestions. Currently I am on Celexa and the pain and suffering are horrendous to say the least.
Kindest regards,
Tom Ellison
Dear Anonymous Bob--
Thanks for an absolutely fantastic and inspiring post! Your grandkids are lucky to have you. It may seem almost like a cliche--and I don't mean to suggest that suffering is ever a good thing for its own sake--but perhaps character really is forged to some extent by adversity.
Thanks, truly, for sharing your experience. If depression has any gifts at all to bestow upon its victims, perhaps it is that once you have been there, you will forever have a capacity for empathy that no other experience can quite provide.
So many of these posts epitomize this empathy and humanity.
Thanks again to everyone who's joined in. And Tom: keep up the swimming!
Dear Anonymous Bob--
Thanks for an absolutely fantastic and inspiring post! Your grandkids are lucky to have you. It may seem almost like a cliche--and I don't mean to suggest that suffering is ever a good thing for its own sake--but perhaps character really is forged to some extent by adversity.
Thanks, truly, for sharing your experience. If depression has any gifts at all to bestow upon its victims, perhaps it is that once you have been there, you will forever have a capacity for empathy that no other experience can quite provide.
So many of these posts epitomize this empathy and humanity.
Thanks again to everyone who's joined in. And Tom: keep up the swimming!
