Ok, here it is. This takes a serious amount of courage for me to post this due to the obvious shame if feel here, but, I think it may help someone out there who is also experiencing the same type of situation..The following is an e-mail I wrote to Jim Thorton reaching out for him for guidance and help in this terrible time.
Jim:
I have not posted in two months now due to my severe depression. My wife of 25 years (whom I love dearly left me on 5 Aug.--no hope for our marriage). I attempted an honest crack at Jerry's way out that night...and one other time. So far this past two months I have spent one 12 day stint in the hospital and another week stint in the hospital attempting to deal with this very, very serious problem. To date, I have been unable to shake this thing. I see no hope for my life and frankly the pain and torment is so great that I really do not give a rat’s rear end about anything at this point. My problem is a simply one. I HATE being locked up..and all these units can do for guys like me is lock us up. Heck, I take Jerry's way any day to the padded cell stuff.
Any suggestions. Currently I am on Celexa and the pain and suffering are horrendous to say the least.
Kindest regards,
Tom Ellison
Parents
Former Member
I'm reposting this, since I accidentally deleted it:
It takes a lot of courage to reach out like you're doing. I have fought depression on and off for a while. I've been in the pit, where there seems no hope for the future, no way out, regardless of what I try to do. I'm currently trying to climb out of the pit again. I can tell you some things that have worked for me to keep myself alive until things get better - and they WILL get better.
1. Get in the pool. I know you don't feel like it, but I usually feel a little better after I forcefully drag myself into the water.
2. Pray. This is where we might have differences of beliefs, but personally, I believe that Jesus wants us to tell him exactly how we feel. The shortest verse in the Bible 'Jesus wept.' was when one of his friends died. I'm not going to say much more on this, because this is a swimming forum.
3. Reach out. You're obviously already doing this, so just keep on.
4. Do nothing. When I experience that overwhelming feeling, I sit down and ride it out for a while. I tell myself that it will get better, that this is just temporary. It doesn't make sense to do something permanent to fix a problem that's temporary. I know that's an overused saying, but it's true.
5. Help others. Find something nice to do for someone else. Just do small things. I bring someone flowers, run an errand for someone, whatever. There is always someone that needs help with something around you. I know it doesn't make
sense, but I actually feel better after I do something for someone else than if someone helped me out.
I hope this helps somewhat. I'm obviously not a professional. There is a lot of stigma attached to depression, which makes things even harder for those that are depressed. It's biologically based, and needs to be treated. Since the Celexa has not worked after 2 months, get with a doctor to see if he/she can increase the amount, change to another prescription, or add another medicine. It can be harder to deal with as a swimmer because the exercise is supposed to prevent this from happening, but it does happen.
I'm reposting this, since I accidentally deleted it:
It takes a lot of courage to reach out like you're doing. I have fought depression on and off for a while. I've been in the pit, where there seems no hope for the future, no way out, regardless of what I try to do. I'm currently trying to climb out of the pit again. I can tell you some things that have worked for me to keep myself alive until things get better - and they WILL get better.
1. Get in the pool. I know you don't feel like it, but I usually feel a little better after I forcefully drag myself into the water.
2. Pray. This is where we might have differences of beliefs, but personally, I believe that Jesus wants us to tell him exactly how we feel. The shortest verse in the Bible 'Jesus wept.' was when one of his friends died. I'm not going to say much more on this, because this is a swimming forum.
3. Reach out. You're obviously already doing this, so just keep on.
4. Do nothing. When I experience that overwhelming feeling, I sit down and ride it out for a while. I tell myself that it will get better, that this is just temporary. It doesn't make sense to do something permanent to fix a problem that's temporary. I know that's an overused saying, but it's true.
5. Help others. Find something nice to do for someone else. Just do small things. I bring someone flowers, run an errand for someone, whatever. There is always someone that needs help with something around you. I know it doesn't make
sense, but I actually feel better after I do something for someone else than if someone helped me out.
I hope this helps somewhat. I'm obviously not a professional. There is a lot of stigma attached to depression, which makes things even harder for those that are depressed. It's biologically based, and needs to be treated. Since the Celexa has not worked after 2 months, get with a doctor to see if he/she can increase the amount, change to another prescription, or add another medicine. It can be harder to deal with as a swimmer because the exercise is supposed to prevent this from happening, but it does happen.
