My 11 year old son just started his first competitive year of swim team after doing a year of developmental swim team last year. He attended his first meet last weekend and was so disappointed that he told me he no longer wants to do swim. The kids in our area start swimming competitively very young and by 11-12 are all very fast. He came in last in all his races and with times twice as slow as the next slowest kid before him. Unfortunately, he just aged into the 11-12 group by 2 weeks, and in combination with being small for his age and not really being all that athletic/strong, the whole thing just made him feel like he was really bad. We have placed no expectations on him other than to try his best and have fun with his friends, but his perfectionist personality is sort of his downfall. If he can't be good at something, he would rather not try at all.
His coaches have told me that he has great technique, so I know he at least has a good foundation. We tried explaining that the other kids have had many more years of training and if he sticks it out, he will start to catch up if he works at it.
He loves swimming and being in the water, so I am hoping for some advice on how to have him continue without hating it. So far, we have compromised and said he didn't have to attend any of the USA meets this year. But we would like him to go to the local league's team meets, for the sake of supporting his teammates and being a good sport. He saw a glimpse of that at last week's meet when his teammates told him "good job" and a boy on the opposing team high fived him after he climbed out, exhausted, after the 100 yard free at almost 2:00.
I have a few stories.
I started swimming in middle school- right when I was turning 12. I was SO SLOW that I won "most improved"... two years in a row. Anyway, I started swimming year round I think after 9th grade and ended up with D-1 full ride to a mid-major and many 1/4 and 1/2 ride offers to big ten schools. More importantly, I ended up LOVING the sport and what it offers. Someone explained to me earlier that the only person I have had to race was me- My time would not be faster or slower or mean more or less if I was swimming next to a brand new 7 year old swimmer or an olympian. Just me & the clock and the clock never lies. That fact got me through a million minutes of swimming club with kids much younger, of struggling for semi state cuts when my team mates were heading to Jr Nats and through 2 seasons of swimming exhibition only, starting in the pool or on deck, scared of the blocks and unable to swim anything but breaststroke and freestyle.
Another story- my current 8th grade daughter swam some club when she was younger but never stuck with it. She now is swimming again. Her 50 fr time is about 54 seconds. She LOVES swim and loves her team and is part of the crew- the only one who can judge her finish/place is HER and she chooses not to judge herself against others.
A final story- I've seen dozens of kids- those I've raced, those I coached for a while that were phenoms at age 10-14 and either quit or became injured or just didn't have any zest for training... so many of those kids that crush it young will stop. This gives some benefit to being fresh & being hungry and sticking with it...
And finally- my little guy is 10yo and just finished his first year of club. He is doing fine but gets beat by a lot of kids his age and will age up to 11-12 this summer. No signs of growth spurts yet. He keeps the USA swimming time standards chart in his bedroom and sets a goal like "B" or "BB" or whatever for each event and just races that chart instead of others! We also go to some smaller meets and that helps it feel less of a beating, you know?
I have a few stories.
I started swimming in middle school- right when I was turning 12. I was SO SLOW that I won "most improved"... two years in a row. Anyway, I started swimming year round I think after 9th grade and ended up with D-1 full ride to a mid-major and many 1/4 and 1/2 ride offers to big ten schools. More importantly, I ended up LOVING the sport and what it offers. Someone explained to me earlier that the only person I have had to race was me- My time would not be faster or slower or mean more or less if I was swimming next to a brand new 7 year old swimmer or an olympian. Just me & the clock and the clock never lies. That fact got me through a million minutes of swimming club with kids much younger, of struggling for semi state cuts when my team mates were heading to Jr Nats and through 2 seasons of swimming exhibition only, starting in the pool or on deck, scared of the blocks and unable to swim anything but breaststroke and freestyle.
Another story- my current 8th grade daughter swam some club when she was younger but never stuck with it. She now is swimming again. Her 50 fr time is about 54 seconds. She LOVES swim and loves her team and is part of the crew- the only one who can judge her finish/place is HER and she chooses not to judge herself against others.
A final story- I've seen dozens of kids- those I've raced, those I coached for a while that were phenoms at age 10-14 and either quit or became injured or just didn't have any zest for training... so many of those kids that crush it young will stop. This gives some benefit to being fresh & being hungry and sticking with it...
And finally- my little guy is 10yo and just finished his first year of club. He is doing fine but gets beat by a lot of kids his age and will age up to 11-12 this summer. No signs of growth spurts yet. He keeps the USA swimming time standards chart in his bedroom and sets a goal like "B" or "BB" or whatever for each event and just races that chart instead of others! We also go to some smaller meets and that helps it feel less of a beating, you know?
