My 11 year old son just started his first competitive year of swim team after doing a year of developmental swim team last year. He attended his first meet last weekend and was so disappointed that he told me he no longer wants to do swim. The kids in our area start swimming competitively very young and by 11-12 are all very fast. He came in last in all his races and with times twice as slow as the next slowest kid before him. Unfortunately, he just aged into the 11-12 group by 2 weeks, and in combination with being small for his age and not really being all that athletic/strong, the whole thing just made him feel like he was really bad. We have placed no expectations on him other than to try his best and have fun with his friends, but his perfectionist personality is sort of his downfall. If he can't be good at something, he would rather not try at all.
His coaches have told me that he has great technique, so I know he at least has a good foundation. We tried explaining that the other kids have had many more years of training and if he sticks it out, he will start to catch up if he works at it.
He loves swimming and being in the water, so I am hoping for some advice on how to have him continue without hating it. So far, we have compromised and said he didn't have to attend any of the USA meets this year. But we would like him to go to the local league's team meets, for the sake of supporting his teammates and being a good sport. He saw a glimpse of that at last week's meet when his teammates told him "good job" and a boy on the opposing team high fived him after he climbed out, exhausted, after the 100 yard free at almost 2:00.
Well, dunno if it'll help but I will post a couple of stories that you can relay to him to maybe encourage him to stick with it. First, when my now 24 year old daughter was in 10th grade she decided she wanted to join her high school's swim team. She was a capable swimmer, but not fast at all (i.e. slow, not really athletic), and had no swim team experience. She really just wanted to join for the social aspect of it...to make, and be with friends. This was on a team that had just won the state championship the previous season...so they were flush with some fast, experienced swimmers. The only stipulation I put on her was that "if she started season she had to finish it, and to attend all functions (unless she was sick)." She never won a race, nor even a heat. In fact she was usually one of the last swimmers. But she enjoyed being on the team with friends. She was outstanding at supporting her teammates, boosting moral, and doing whatever the coach asked of her. She went out again her junior year (same stipulation), and didn't win a single race/heat. She went out again her senior year...and lo and behold the team voted her Team Captain. Toward the end of the season she finally won a heat (but still placed low in the final). But she definitely improved. (Funny thing about that was that when she stopped and stood up she immediately started swimming again because she though she had miscounted her laps (200yd freestyle).)
My now 21 year old son decided he wanted to play ice hockey. He could barely ice skate, and didn't begin playing youth rec league hockey until 6th grade. FYI, in hockey communities kids usually start skating and learning the game in pre-school. I put the same stipulations on him as his sister...if you start a season, you finish the season. Throughout his career he was always way behind the other players in development as a skater/player. He stayed with it and in high school made the team all four years. He was usually third line at best. Never got much ice time in games. But at the senior awards banquet, he was awarded the "Coach's Award"...an award that in most years would be presented to the team captain or MVP type player. But in the presentation, the coach said he proved to be a great value to the team in ALL aspects of sportsmanship and being a teammate. He didn't miss a single team function throughout high school.
Dan
Well, dunno if it'll help but I will post a couple of stories that you can relay to him to maybe encourage him to stick with it. First, when my now 24 year old daughter was in 10th grade she decided she wanted to join her high school's swim team. She was a capable swimmer, but not fast at all (i.e. slow, not really athletic), and had no swim team experience. She really just wanted to join for the social aspect of it...to make, and be with friends. This was on a team that had just won the state championship the previous season...so they were flush with some fast, experienced swimmers. The only stipulation I put on her was that "if she started season she had to finish it, and to attend all functions (unless she was sick)." She never won a race, nor even a heat. In fact she was usually one of the last swimmers. But she enjoyed being on the team with friends. She was outstanding at supporting her teammates, boosting moral, and doing whatever the coach asked of her. She went out again her junior year (same stipulation), and didn't win a single race/heat. She went out again her senior year...and lo and behold the team voted her Team Captain. Toward the end of the season she finally won a heat (but still placed low in the final). But she definitely improved. (Funny thing about that was that when she stopped and stood up she immediately started swimming again because she though she had miscounted her laps (200yd freestyle).)
My now 21 year old son decided he wanted to play ice hockey. He could barely ice skate, and didn't begin playing youth rec league hockey until 6th grade. FYI, in hockey communities kids usually start skating and learning the game in pre-school. I put the same stipulations on him as his sister...if you start a season, you finish the season. Throughout his career he was always way behind the other players in development as a skater/player. He stayed with it and in high school made the team all four years. He was usually third line at best. Never got much ice time in games. But at the senior awards banquet, he was awarded the "Coach's Award"...an award that in most years would be presented to the team captain or MVP type player. But in the presentation, the coach said he proved to be a great value to the team in ALL aspects of sportsmanship and being a teammate. He didn't miss a single team function throughout high school.
Dan
