HS swim teams. Was it worth the time and effort?

I say let him do what he wants to do. If he likes swimming enough to stay on the team...support him and his decision. If he feels that it's not the sport for him...regardless of how good he is...then let him walk away (with one caveat I'll explain in a second) but support him in that decision too. I didn't swim in HS, I ran track and CC all four years. I loved running (still do) and loved the camaraderie of being on the team. The caveat...which I always made my kids go by From youth sports all the way through HS...if you join a team NO QUITING! You're on it through the entire season. Even if you're injured you'll still go to all events and support the team. Dan

I agree with ForceDJ, except if he wants to leave swimming, I'd make sure he has an organized activity lined up to replace it with.

This season started slow for my son. He caught some guff from this captain before the season because he did not swim club in the summer/fall or maybe my son was talking about not swimming just before the season. Not sure when this tension began. Just fond out about it during the past week. He had a minor weight lifting injury just before the season. One of the Coaches is really good at positive motivation and convinced him to swim this year. The injury healed fast and he started the first meet as fast as he was last season. He was part of a state qualifying 200/400 relay with 3 seniors. Was neck and neck with the #2 senior at end of the season last year... ...Never seen him so happy. Relays finish 5/6th he swam well in both, their school is much smaller than the other teams. Then he has another decent meet then something happens. Has a couple of bad practices and appears to have strained his shoulder weight lifting in a PE class. The captain comes down on him and it spirals down... Not going to condemn this captain. Boys will be Boys. He is a dedicated swimmer. I think there is tension between them though. My son does not do well with negative criticism, never has. I don't know if he is feeling pressure as the season winds down about making state cuts for the relays or individual events. It is not coming from the coaches. The relays are weak, compared to last year. Strong senior class last year. Rebuilding year only 2 seniors this year. Even if my son dropped 3 seconds on his 50 they won't make states this year. We are not putting pressure on him to make states. Hey I would be happy about it for him. But it is not a critical issue at all. The numbers are what they are. Swimmers times go up and down some. I re-read my response and I hope I didn't come across that I thought you were a parent making your child unhappy. I was going on what I have seen. Glad the coaches sound like they are doing right by your son. Relay drama seems to be never ending in HS swimming. It happens on most teams, regardless of gender and location.

I was a Michigan High School swimmer many years ago but oh how I remember the days. At this point of the year virtually everyone in high school swimming is a bit burnt out. But, the glory days are just around the corner. Taper cannot come soon enough. Usually, you'll see the spirits turn as they build into the conference meet. Once conference and/or states is over there will be time for reflection. If he has some good time drops you may see a 180 degree turn in the attitude for swimming. But the real time to tell won't be until next years season starts. Believe me, I struggled with it every year. All the way thru high school and again at a small Div III college (which is now 5x what it was when I started there). After college I was away from swimming for 10 years but then came to masters and have loved it ever since. I swam this morning with the local boys team and they were all just looking forward to getting thru this week as it is considered "hell week". The last big push before taper starts for conference. They were all dragging themselves out of the locker room and off to school. Compare that to a week or two from now and you'll see smiling faces, jokes and lots of energy. Hopefully he'll decide the work was all worth it. Still, to this day, I reflect back on my decisions to continue with swimming and I'm so happy I didn't quit. As they say, when the going gets tough,...

I agree with ForceDJ, except if he wants to leave swimming, I'd make sure he has an organized activity lined up to replace it with. This. I have all boys and, left to their own devices, I'm pretty sure they'd be on the computer or the XBOX non-stop if we didn't insist they did a sport in high school :) The oldest just finished his Senior season. He never did USAS and was not ever the fastest - but he lettered and made some good friends. As a great student but an introvert, it was really helpful for him to have been able to include 4 years of swimming and orchestra on his college applications. It's also made him a more well-rounded human being. I think it helps that our high school has a water polo club (it's not an official sport here) and the swimmers get to play polo in the Spring. Do you all have anything like that? Our school also has a triathlon club - maybe your son would want to swim to be able to compete in those? Or maybe he just needs to choose a new sport?

Oh I did not take it that way at all. That is one of my concerns also since I am pro swimming.

They play it once in a while as a fun thing in practice and have a alumni game every year against the team. The kids love it. The coaches are alumni from the school also and play. No official club though. This is a great idea though. Could be a great thing for the girls team also. I will ask/suggest it to the coaches. Could benefit a lot of kids present/future. Our swim coaches also coach the polo teams (girls and boys - they often practice together). There was quite a learning curve in the beginning for both the coaches and the swimmers. They often have to play in pools that are too shallow at one end to follow the rules exactly but they have a great time. Most of the schools in the district have water polo clubs. There is one team in our district whose coach is too competitive to let his kids do polo. It's a shame, IMO.

Swimming for me in HS was a way to continue to build self-confidence and to learn teamwork and leadership skills in the planning for meets and in encouraging my team mates at practice and meets. It was an experience I would greatly miss including the fun, socialization and comradeship. All three of my kids swam in HS, so I understand your dilemma about pushing too hard. Believe it or not, they do listen to their parents and you possibly have more influence than you think. Encouraging him to do something he clearly doesn't want to do makes no sense, but helping him see the long picture does. Not many, if any, HS kids have that kind of wisdom. After about 10+ years of AG/HS and college swimming, I did stop half way through college and regret it.

Does he have friends on the team or is he kind of a lone wolf? One of the biggest reasons the kids I know continue to swim HS (in addition to club) is because it's fun. They represent their school, hang with their friends at meets and HS meets are usually more relaxed than USS meets. Representing their school is actually a bigger deal than I originally thought - these are kids who (usually) don't play other sports so being able to be on a team and potentially get a Varsity letter is a big deal. I would also say it ultimately has to be on him. The teens I coach who swim because their parents are pressuring them or "make them" are unhappy and many end up quitting.

Well that has been our rule no quitting during a season. I guess much of this is really about what he really wants to do. Not a lot of glory for ton of effort you swimmers go through. I think this is a mentally and physically demanding sport. I personally think you can get some intangible benefits. Yet it might not be your thing if you don't really like it and see the value in all your effort. I am hoping the season ends well and he improves just a tad to end on a high note. Especially if it is his last. Maybe he will continue or come back as a senior. I think he needs to want to do it for himself though. I posted this because I truly think he will regret walking away latter in life. I have expressed it. But I think it best if I just be there to support his decisions. If he asks I can encourage but must be careful to not pressure him. Could be a lot worse. Good kid with good grades. I think it bothers me more, so I need to tread lightly here I think. I like the idea of helping him find a new activity. If he walks away from swimming. He is not a ball sports kid though. The water was his equalizer. He has flirted with track and field. But think weights and maybe martial arts is more appealing to him. Those would need to be outside of school though. Thanks for the thoughts.