I'm thinking the level of anxiety I have leading up to meets, especially championships, is telling me competition is not worth it for me. I wish I could see myself improving through a season so that I can be excited to find out how fast I'm going to race at the end of it. Unfortunately, I'm at that age where I'm only getting slower, and I don't have the technical background to draw upon that some others do. I always feel relieved just after a big meet, but in the months and weeks leading up to one, I have anxiety even going to the practice pool. I dread the fact that I'm facing work, not leisure. That almost guarantees a bad practice. 'Sounds crazy doesn't it? Is it time for me to quit competing? In re-reading my first sentence I'm considering, maybe I need a therapist to help me learn what small reward keeps me going back to something so stressful, or to figure out how to give myself permission to quit. I saw a video on USA swimming in which they mention, Ryan Murphy used to puke before big events. That was a little validating. So how do you forumites manage your anxiety? Or if you don't have any, how did you achieve that serenity?
I tend to get increasingly anxious from when the Psych Sheets are up until my first event. After the first event of the meet I am generally OK. I try to keep the anxiety manageable by visualization, meditation and routine. There is some point before the first event where I think "never again." The thing I realize is this is just my standard negative self talk channeled in a particular direction. At the meet I get with old friends, make new friends, feel the energy of the swimmers, and get to test myself against myself and my expectations. For me, that is worth some anxiety(most of the time). I had shoulder surgery in May and missed Nats and will miss Pan Ams. I am sad about this. Overall my competition experience is positive, but again, it does not always feel so. Another thing I tell myself is that physiologically, anxiety and excitement are the same, it is just about attitude.
I tend to get increasingly anxious from when the Psych Sheets are up until my first event. After the first event of the meet I am generally OK. I try to keep the anxiety manageable by visualization, meditation and routine. There is some point before the first event where I think "never again." The thing I realize is this is just my standard negative self talk channeled in a particular direction. At the meet I get with old friends, make new friends, feel the energy of the swimmers, and get to test myself against myself and my expectations. For me, that is worth some anxiety(most of the time). I had shoulder surgery in May and missed Nats and will miss Pan Ams. I am sad about this. Overall my competition experience is positive, but again, it does not always feel so. Another thing I tell myself is that physiologically, anxiety and excitement are the same, it is just about attitude.
