what if the airlines ran swim meets?

RE: what if the airlines ran swim meets?

Former Member — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 09:28:30 GMT

some pools charge extra for the "ladder lane" for those that like to rush out.

RE: what if the airlines ran swim meets?

Former Member — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 14:22:57 GMT

Anyone attempting to start a race with a starter's gun would be arrested and dragged into a back room for a full-body cavity search. Same goes true for anyone caught joking about anything or saying things like "She's the bomb." -LBJ

RE: what if the airlines ran swim meets?

Former Member — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 13:41:41 GMT

Your only allowed to swim with one bag, and you have to because you cant leave it anywhere or else they will evacuate the building and blow up your stash of swim gear. and some venues will allow you to swim with your bag and possibly a laptop or camera.

RE: what if the airlines ran swim meets?

Former Member — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 11:11:07 GMT

There would be different levels of entry fees (for the same event) that define restrictions: For example: 100 LCM (any stroke) If you pay $50, you can do a flip turn; $40 will let you do an open turn. If you only pay $25, there's a minimum stay (pause) at the wall of 5". If you pay the cheapest entry fee ($0.25. Hey! You wanted the best deal!) your minimum stay at the turn is 15" And if you want to change your options (events), after the warm-up has commenced, the change penalty could be anywhere from 1/10th to 3 x your entry fee.

RE: what if the airlines ran swim meets?

swimshark — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 07:30:34 GMT

You earn "frequent flyer strokes" to use toward entry at a later meet only to be told later that the meet is across the country and you can only use it to enter the 200 fly - which is not your event.

RE: what if the airlines ran swim meets?

Former Member — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 06:56:19 GMT

Some of my towels and suits might be declared biohazards and confiscated. No negative verbal imagery about pain, suffering, sudden flaming painful death, burning out, blowing chunks, gakking up a lung, or wishing you'd been on the exit row. The Steinway provided by my frequent sponsor would not be carry-on. DV

RE: what if the airlines ran swim meets?

Former Member — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 16:17:42 GMT

As you're about to start, a voice comes over the p.a. system informing you that you can find a flotational device under your starting block "...in the event of a water landing.." :confused: (To conform with FINA rules, it won't actually float.)

RE: what if the airlines ran swim meets?

Former Member — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 15:28:51 GMT

When the starter calls you up and announces the start, you can't understand a word he says.

RE: what if the airlines ran swim meets?

Former Member — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 14:44:34 GMT

They would squeeze you three to a lane, with you in the middle and the two guys you would be between would be massive enough to have a noticable gravitational field. -LBJ

RE: what if the airlines ran swim meets?

Former Member — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 11:59:03 GMT

Of course, if you got to your event early and there was space available in an earlier event, you could swim that one instead (unless your swim meet is called Southwest). Of course, you'd be charged extra to swim standby. Really, it would go like this: There would be 5 heats scheduled with 50 swimmers entered, overbooking each heat by two swimmers. Two heats would be canceled. The rest would be delayed by ATC (Aqua Traffic Control). They would be scheduled for three hours later, but you couldn't leave the blocks because any race could start at any time, and if you aren't there, you'd lose your spot. Oh and the people swimming standby would be ranked by the number of races they have swum in. (BTW, my wife is flying to Chicago tonight. The flight is delayed two hours.)

RE: what if the airlines ran swim meets?

Former Member — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 09:56:50 GMT

How about a break from the meet in the Minneapolis airport? :drown:

RE: what if the airlines ran swim meets?

knelson — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 09:50:59 GMT

The start would begin at the other end of the pool. You'd have to run down the deck, make a sharp turn into your lane and take off from the blocks. No, this isn't quite accurate. Your entire heat would line up, single file, at one end of the pool. Then you'd slowly walk to the starting end where everyone would start from the same block, but you'd have to wait a while until the swimmer ahead of you was a ways down the pool. Sort of like the sprint lane during warmups, I guess! :)

RE: what if the airlines ran swim meets?

Former Member — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 09:08:01 GMT

If airlines ran swim meets, 10 people would be entered in an eight-lane race. Two would get bumped. Of course, if you got to your event early and there was space available in an earlier event, you could swim that one instead (unless your swim meet is called Southwest).

RE: what if the airlines ran swim meets?

waves101 — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 08:53:18 GMT

The start would begin at the other end of the pool. You'd have to run down the deck, make a sharp turn into your lane and take off from the blocks.

RE: what if the airlines ran swim meets?

Former Member — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 06:47:53 GMT

If there's a weather delay in an outdoor pool, everyone is held hostage in the men's or women's locker rooms for 12 hours without any ventilation, running water, or working toilets. :eek: Dolphin 2

RE: what if the airlines ran swim meets?

Former Member — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 06:32:23 GMT

They're all no-frills carriers now :) I more or less agree, but the problem is that United cannot do no-frills as cheaply as Southwest because their fixed costs are too high and they cannot dispose of those assets, and their payroll is too high. Or put another way, United wasn't designed to compete with Southwest so doing so is impossible.

RE: what if the airlines ran swim meets?

Former Member — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 05:58:13 GMT

If airlines ran swim meets, 10 people would be entered in an eight-lane race. Two would get bumped.

RE: what if the airlines ran swim meets?

Former Member — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 05:56:20 GMT

I think the number one thing many of the U.S. airlines could do to save money is to replace their old, inefficient airplanes with newer ones. Manufactured by Boeing, of course.

RE: what if the airlines ran swim meets?

Former Member — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 05:50:22 GMT

On the bright side, if you competed in the meet often enough, they would give you free drink coupons for beer and wine. If you are a relatively new swimmer, you can still have beer and wine during the meet, it will just cost you $5.

RE: what if the airlines ran swim meets?

Former Member — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 05:21:37 GMT

Perhpas this belongs in the Non-Swimming section...but...I don't know what US airlines are going to do. In orer to compete on price with the no-frills carriers they would need to slash jobs and sell off equipment (with no buyers). So competing on cost is not an option. And now is not the time to sell "premium" services to the public....

RE: what if the airlines ran swim meets?

aquageek — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 05:18:55 GMT

All the bathrooms would be unisex and you'd always walk into one that was occupied by an old woman in an unsightly state (a sight I shall never be able to erase from my mind, NEVER). That is the ONLY preflight safety instruction they should give, and give it at least twice.

RE: what if the airlines ran swim meets?

Former Member — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 05:17:38 GMT

Women would be thrown out for wearing suits that were too revealing.

RE: what if the airlines ran swim meets?

aquageek — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 02:02:00 GMT

I saw a segment last week that said a $10 increase in the cost of a barrel of oil equates to an $800m increase in operating costs for an airline (just saying I saw it, don't know if accurate or not). There isn't some magic new engine that is gonna save an airline that kind of money. Even if you dump your pensions, get rid of snax, charge a bag fee you can never make up that kind of unanticipated instant cost increase.

RE: what if the airlines ran swim meets?

knelson — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 01:35:24 GMT

In orer to compete on price with the no-frills carriers They're all no-frills carriers now :) Really I don't have a problem with that. In the "old days" flying was sort of an adventure and the airline services reflected that. Today flying is just a way to get from point A to point B. There is really no reason airlines should provide any additional services above and beyond what is needed to accomplish that goal of getting you where you need to go. If you want the extras take the train. I think the number one thing many of the U.S. airlines could do to save money is to replace their old, inefficient airplanes with newer ones. Of course the problem is they have no money to do this.

RE: what if the airlines ran swim meets?

aquageek — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 01:27:54 GMT

Lefty - you are sounding more like a righty.