How to avoid sex during a taper

RE: How to avoid sex during a taper

Former Member — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 11:14:51 GMT

You know it says something when a thread about sex turns into a thread about lawn mowers.

RE: How to avoid sex during a taper

Former Member — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 08:27:35 GMT

You know it says something when a thread about sex turns into a thread about lawn mowers. Actually the thread is about "avoiding" sex......... I live in a highrise and don't have a lawn mower.

RE: How to avoid sex during a taper

Former Member — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 13:05:20 GMT

....who buys a friggin push mower these days anyway... Well... I did. It's actually much less work, in my tiny 32' city lot, than trying to muscle a power mower around 180 degrees every five minutes. Much as I'd love to write it up in my exercise journal as a "workout", it just isn't that strenuous. An added bonus is, I can mow at 6:00 a.m. during hot spells and it doesn't make a scary banging noise when I go over a poplar root.

RE: How to avoid sex during a taper

cantwait4bike — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 12:53:53 GMT

you swimmers obviously have been breathing too much chlorine lately. get a bike and pair of running shoes, it will clear up your heads

RE: How to avoid sex during a taper

Paul Smith — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 12:35:43 GMT

First of all it's my mower and I'm man enough to admit I'm not man enough to use the damn thing....who buys a friggin push mower these days anyway> Second; Mr. Classen your confusing me with John Finally; given that my wife finally got herself into the suit and happened to swim out of her mind while wearing it this past weekend (unrested 200 back time would have been 1st in the rankings for 2007)...I'm back in the "drivers seat" so to speak!!! :lolup:

RE: How to avoid sex during a taper

Former Member — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 11:38:30 GMT

How to Avoid Sex During a Taper...and Pre-Season...and Mid-Season....and Off-Season..... B. Buy your wife snorkle (and lawnmower) for Christmas (then spend rest of day on USMS forum) He bought you a LAWNMOWER for christmas? I'd only do that if I wanted to die and was too chicken to commit suicide directly. -LBJ

RE: How to avoid sex during a taper

ViveBene — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 09:47:34 GMT

Did Smith by Marriage want the lawnmower? I ask bec. one year I requested an electric drill with an array of drill bits and got in response a 3-page single-spaced letter (from distant family dear) on why I did not want an electric drill, said letter accompanying some crocheted garment hangers picked up at a yard sale. And real lawnmowers, the push kind, are frightfully expensive these days. A high-value item!:agree:

RE: How to avoid sex during a taper

Former Member — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 08:47:15 GMT

No, ViveBene....Smith by Marriage would have wanted a lawn SERVICE, not a lawn MOWER!!! But alas, because now I'm the proud owner of the mower, I AM the lawn service. I heard it's good exercise, however. And please, I hope that none of you are fooled. Paul is not, will not, and has never been in the "driver's seat". I hold the keys.

RE: How to avoid sex during a taper

The Fortress — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 05:09:54 GMT

A. Buy your wife hand paddles for her 40th birthday This seem like a passive aggressive way to get your wife to quit swimming, to me. I have no skills either, and no plans to get any. Even with my inhaler in hand to treat my imaginary adult-onset allergies/asthma, I won't go near mulch or leaf piles.

RE: How to avoid sex during a taper

aquageek — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 05:05:12 GMT

I hate yardwork, I vow to never mow my lawn again. I gave away all lawn work items years ago. I don't do housework or repairs of any sort either. I have no skills, no desire to have any skills and therefore am completely repellant to my wife, which is understandable. I can install ceiling fans, usually on the first try. I'm good with super glue also.

RE: How to avoid sex during a taper

Former Member — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 13:45:40 GMT

Worlds collide, worlds collide!!!!!! The Great Pumpkin has spoken.

RE: How to avoid sex during a taper

Former Member — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 13:43:03 GMT

A) Have nothing to do with your wife ordering a new BlueSeventy B) Try on your suit and comment how great it feels...wife can't get into her's C) Don't say a thing (getting smarter), but can't stifle the chuckle (again) as things are being thrown and swearing like a sailor takes place...dog is hiding in the other room D) Run away very fast for a non-land animal with two knee surgeries...this time into the back yard still wearing your suit.... E) Tell John Smith (big mistake...again) F) John Smith text messages said wife and asks how she likes the new suit...again G) Apply ice packs to a different and much more sensitive part of your body H) No bonus this time...even the dog won't come near me. This is all an attempt by Paul of what he thinks is smart misdirection. He figures he can post this little ditty and we'd all just assume he was getting some prior to trying on these suits and tapering. ;)

RE: How to avoid sex during a taper

Former Member — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 10:52:21 GMT

Oh, that is so funny! Sounds like someone needs to learn how to control those chuckles!

RE: How to avoid sex during a taper

Former Member — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 10:36:38 GMT

How to Avoid Sex During a Taper...and Pre-Season...and Mid-Season....and Off-Season..... A. Buy your wife hand paddles for her 40th birthday (then spend rest of day on USMS forum) B. Buy your wife snorkle (and lawnmower) for Christmas (then spend rest of day on USMS forum) C. Buy your wife Speedo Pro for Nationals and publicly discuss her challenges stuffing her body into it on USMS forum D. Buy your wife Blue 70 for Anniversary and publicly discuss her challenges stuffing her body into it on USMS forum E. Befriend John Smith

RE: How to avoid sex during a taper

Former Member — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 09:59:16 GMT

One more suggestion Paul - Throw away the blue pills.

RE: How to avoid sex during a taper

Paul Smith — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 08:54:12 GMT

RE: How to avoid sex during a taper

knelson — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 07:05:30 GMT

Paul Smith is fast in the pool, but no one would ever call him a fast learner :)

RE: How to avoid sex during a taper

The Fortress — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 05:49:14 GMT

swearing like a sailor takes place ... Apply ice packs to a different and much more sensitive part of your body. What a woman!! :applaud: She's my hero. ;)

RE: How to avoid sex during a taper

Paul Smith — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 05:44:44 GMT

RE: How to avoid sex during a taper

Former Member — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 16:35:27 GMT

Speaking of giving up on manners, I was with my relay mates, reading for our 400 medley geezer relay on Saturday. My coach, who is rather speedy to say the least, was swimming the freestyle leg. Her hubby comes up to us before the start, wishes us luck, and says to our coach, "Hey, ***, go fast and see if you can outsplit your 10 year old." Now, that's a real marriage for you! :drink: Did you check on them on Sunday? Was he still ambulating? Alive?

RE: How to avoid sex during a taper

The Fortress — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 12:30:30 GMT

No way would I intentionally try to avoid sex....but having hung around with John so much the last few years i seemed to have picked up his "flair" for saying stupid things to the Mrs....seems JS has been "without" for so long he has simply given up on manners all together! Speaking of giving up on manners, I was with my relay mates, reading for our 400 medley geezer relay on Saturday. My coach, who is rather speedy to say the least, was swimming the freestyle leg. Her hubby comes up to us before the start, wishes us luck, and says to our coach, "Hey, ***, go fast and see if you can outsplit your 10 year old." Now, that's a real marriage for you! :drink:

RE: How to avoid sex during a taper

ande — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 11:26:59 GMT

congratulations she had an excellent swim I'm off the hook....not only did she get into the suit for the Mission meet this past weekend but swam her fastest ever 200 back (unrested) with a 2:13+! From a dog to a rock star in a week...now if I can keep my mouth shut for awhile!

RE: How to avoid sex during a taper

Paul Smith — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 09:55:38 GMT

I'm off the hook....not only did she get into the suit for the Mission meet this past weekend but swam her fastest ever 200 back (unrested) with a 2:13+! From a dog to a rock star in a week...now if I can keep my mouth shut for awhile!

RE: How to avoid sex during a taper

Former Member — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 05:46:50 GMT

BCGs en.wikipedia.org/.../GI_glasses

RE: How to avoid sex during a taper

Former Member — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 05:40:03 GMT

Her hubby comes up to us before the start, wishes us luck, and says to our coach, "Hey, ***, go fast and see if you can outsplit your 10 year old." Now, that's a real marriage for you! :drink: You should carry some of your lawyer business cards on you to the starting blocks. Nice job at zones, BTW. -LBJ