Overbearing Swimming Parents

RE: Overbearing Swimming Parents

Former Member — Wed, 04 Apr 2018 10:31:15 GMT

My 91-year-old mom still has no patience with me when I lose a race. -- mel :D

RE: Overbearing Swimming Parents

FindingMyInnerFish — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 04:47:12 GMT

Ice cream for breakfast is such a big departure from pancakes with syrup and cream...NOT. Don't be such a food-facist!! ;) kidding tee-hee :hug: Heh! Don’t tell the kiddies, but now that I think of it, ice cream (with fruit on it, of course, maybe some cherries, whipped cream, and dark chocolate syrup—for the bioflavinoids, natch) provides the complete breakfast: dairy/protein and fruit. Sprinkle some cereal on it for some carbs, and you’re all set! :groovy: Your kid will be ready to tackle any school day with this meal! Or maybe tackle other kids with the excess energy, but hey you want them 'up" and ready for action, no? ;)

RE: Overbearing Swimming Parents

Former Member — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 15:27:58 GMT

Well, yes, grew up physically, but I was thinking more in terms of behavior. Two words: arrested development. "Give me what I want when I want it or I'll throw a hissy fit." Main difference is that the "what I want" is for kid to be center stage, rather than, say, ice cream for breakfast. Ice cream for breakfast is such a big departure from pancakes with syrup and cream...NOT. Don't be such a food-facist!! ;) kidding tee-hee :hug:

RE: Overbearing Swimming Parents

Former Member — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 13:19:57 GMT

When one of my kids comes in second in something I always quote Mark Spitz: "You don't win a silver, you lose a gold". They laugh they know there Dad is kidding although not 100% kidding.

RE: Overbearing Swimming Parents

The Fortress — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 11:40:49 GMT

When one of my kids comes in second in something I always quote Mark Spitz: "You don't win a silver, you lose a gold". They laugh they know there Dad is kidding although not 100% kidding. I don't know ... I hear ya. Winning is, in reality, part of life, and kids shouldn't be taught that mere participation is all important. But maybe this is better for the coach to say? And not say every single time a kid comes in second? I've had philosophical discussions with my kids on these issues. I'd have a word with my kids if they loafed. But coming in first is definitely not the only goal. It's not even a realistic one at most competitive USS meets unless you're nationally ranked. I don't think we need to put on that on kids. Kids can have perfectly satisfying swimming careers without that. Fun and fitness are objectives too. Although I realize some parents apparently just care about glory.

RE: Overbearing Swimming Parents

FindingMyInnerFish — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 11:24:16 GMT

Oh no, it sounds like they grew up--and turned into annoying "stage moms"! Clearly, if there is a problem and their kids are not stars it is "our" problem, not the child's. We have some of these in our club too. These are the type of parents who think they can do a better job coaching than the professionals hired by the team. Well, yes, grew up physically, but I was thinking more in terms of behavior. Two words: arrested development. "Give me what I want when I want it or I'll throw a hissy fit." Main difference is that the "what I want" is for kid to be center stage, rather than, say, ice cream for breakfast.

RE: Overbearing Swimming Parents

Former Member — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 07:14:34 GMT

Sounds like one of those jokes about kids' games: ref says something like "couldn't believe all the rude, immature, bratty behavior at that game--and the kids were pretty annoying too!" Doesn't sound like those parents ever grew up. :shakeshead: Oh no, it sounds like they grew up--and turned into annoying "stage moms"! Clearly, if there is a problem and their kids are not stars it is "our" problem, not the child's. We have some of these in our club too. These are the type of parents who think they can do a better job coaching than the professionals hired by the team.

RE: Overbearing Swimming Parents

FindingMyInnerFish — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 06:47:43 GMT

Since I've gleaned so much swim "gossip" at my last few swim meets, I'd thought I'd share my latest horror story about overbearing swim parents. Swimmer A and two siblings (B & C) have been swimming for Team X for 5 years. Swimmer A is an outstanding nationally ranked swimmer, setting records in my LMSC. Swimmer C was #1 in the nation last year in an event. Swimmer B is also a talented swimmer, swimming in JOs every year. Parents of A, B, and C are very controlling. Very involved in their kids practices, times, etc. Lecturing if times don't live up to their notions. Swimmer A turned 13 and became "distracted," starting loafing at practices, didn't try hard, set a bad example and still expected to do well at meets. Swimmer A had been warned by his coach that this behavior was unacceptable if he wanted to continue to succeed. Instead, his times plateaued or worsened and he did not have a stellar short course year. At the end of the year award banquet for his team, he did not win the Outstanding Swimmer Award in his age goup. Parents, who hosted the banquet, were enraged. Coach explained that he did not want to give such an award to someone that was not working in practice. Parents were still enraged and demanded an award; coach respectfully declines. Coach had coached Swimmers A, B. and C for 5 years, including private lessons, and obviously was instrumental in their success. Parents do not care. They try to switch all 3 kids to the other head coach on the USS team. The other head coach doesn't want to coach them. So they put all 3 kids on a new team in the middle of the long course season. Swimmers B and C cry at meets because they are not swimming with their long time coach. Swimmers A, B and C, so far, are well off their times and not having good long course seasons. I hate parents like this, blaming the coach instead of their own son. (Oh, I know for a fact that Swimmer A's behavior is as described. No hearsay or elaboration on that score.) Sounds like one of those jokes about kids' games: ref says something like "couldn't believe all the rude, immature, bratty behavior at that game--and the kids were pretty annoying too!" Doesn't sound like those parents ever grew up. :shakeshead:

RE: Overbearing Swimming Parents

dorothyrde — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 06:20:07 GMT

From my 12 years of observations, those parents never see themselves as being a problem. However, when the kids hit the teen years, they will handle the situation. I would say the 13 year old already is. Now I must work-out and then drive, drive, drive my kid to swim practice, hope it is indoors, it is 49 out!

RE: Overbearing Swimming Parents

Former Member — Tue, 05 Jun 2007 14:57:33 GMT

I'd like to think that when I am in that place in life (parent) YAY there will be Fraggles!!!!

RE: Overbearing Swimming Parents

Former Member — Tue, 05 Jun 2007 12:53:01 GMT

I refer to my earlier post about kids today being overindulged. Sounds like there's that and then some going on with A,B and C's parents. "No Timmy, two plus two equalling five isn't "wrong" it's just original...here, have a medal because you're all winners!" Good grief. Bravo to the coach in your story Leslie.

RE: Overbearing Swimming Parents

Muppet — Tue, 05 Jun 2007 10:55:42 GMT

Yikes, Fort, sounds like some parents with some hardcore need for parenting 101. Hopefully the kids turn out ok. And hopefully someone will put those parents in their place soon. Apparently they didn't get the message from their original team's coaches. I'd like to think that when I am in that place in life (parent), I'd still have the stones to be blunt and bring that family back down to earth.

RE: Overbearing Swimming Parents

The Fortress — Tue, 05 Jun 2007 08:35:57 GMT

RE: Overbearing Swimming Parents

Former Member — Wed, 08 Nov 2006 14:21:41 GMT

I know about 10 young boys who are from the ages of 9yrs to 17yrs. Six had dads who swam in college. None of these boys will swim. they all say that swimming is too gay. I don't really know what that means since their dads had something to do with getting them here. After I was in 11th grade, my fahter never watched me swim ever again. He was a single parent and was very busy. He thought that swimming as a sport was good exercise but boring to watch. He probalby only attended about half of the meets I ever participated. He would sit for hours watching golf. I know quoting myself does seem odd. Last night one of these boys actually said that he might start swimming because he needs to strengthen his legs. I almost cried!!!! then he said that it would help him in football.

RE: Overbearing Swimming Parents

dorothyrde — Wed, 08 Nov 2006 10:14:22 GMT

Don't feel bad Craig. He will be able to swim when he is 50, doubtful he will be able to play football, so the fact he is in the water, for whatever reason is a good thing.

RE: Overbearing Swimming Parents

dorothyrde — Tue, 07 Nov 2006 11:49:45 GMT

Me too, Floyd. It's sitting right here waiting for me. It's not good when your job involves working on a computer. I'm thinking that Dorothy has the right idea about retiring at 45. Can people with OCD compulsions do that though? Nah, they just find something else to be OCD about during retirement. I gotta find time to get back to the pool, have been out for a week, yikes.

RE: Overbearing Swimming Parents

poolraat — Tue, 07 Nov 2006 11:00:02 GMT

I want to retire and be a personal trainer/yoga teacher/swim coach. But for now I need to get to work.

RE: Overbearing Swimming Parents

poolraat — Tue, 07 Nov 2006 10:49:00 GMT

Leslie, One has to have a compulsion, right? Being a Type A with OCD is not easy. Though I should direct more of it to my work.

RE: Overbearing Swimming Parents

The Fortress — Tue, 07 Nov 2006 10:37:58 GMT

Can I retire at 45 and sit by the pool with a drink with an umbrella? :laugh2: No, you can't. You must get in the competition pool and start seriously kicking butt! :lolup:

RE: Overbearing Swimming Parents

dorothyrde — Tue, 07 Nov 2006 10:34:16 GMT

Hopefully the coaches will get it handled. Where there is a will there is a way. P.S.S. Can I retire at 45 and sit by the pool with a drink with an umbrella? :laugh2:

RE: Overbearing Swimming Parents

poolraat — Tue, 07 Nov 2006 10:19:45 GMT

Dorothy: Just remember, your time is coming! I haven't much doing much lately either. I am going to get my doors blown off at practice tonight. P.S. The meet director accepted my daughter's entries late so now I can get up at the crack of dawn, miss all my own practices, go to her meet and do other assorted kid sports stuff. I'm glad the entry problem got fixed. And I'm sure you will enjoy it just like I will enjoy next week-end when we go to the Thanksgiving Invit. in Boise Idaho (about 4 hr drive). 2 sessions each day with 12&u in the am and the older swimmers in the afternoon. I will get up an hour earlier than I'm used to, work the 1st session as starter, then swim the afternoon session. Fun! Fun! Fun!

RE: Overbearing Swimming Parents

dorothyrde — Tue, 07 Nov 2006 04:05:36 GMT

Yay for getting your kid in to the meet. Most coaches really want the best for the kids, even if they mess up on the administrative stuff. Tomorrow is another day, I will get to the pool, I will, I will, I will!

RE: Overbearing Swimming Parents

The Fortress — Tue, 07 Nov 2006 03:36:50 GMT

RE: Overbearing Swimming Parents

dorothyrde — Tue, 07 Nov 2006 02:52:45 GMT

No swim today either.....:dunno:

RE: Overbearing Swimming Parents

Former Member — Mon, 06 Nov 2006 12:09:38 GMT

I don't know how things work with your team but with ours we can eliminate that problem. Once I have turned in my meet entry, it is picked up and entered in Hy-tek. From there it is swimmer responsiblity to check team web site and verify entry has been received and events entered are correct. This does place the responsibility on the swimmer/parent but with lots of entries I think it would be hard to coaches to verify everyone. If I do not see my name in list, then coach still has time to fix the problem. Does your team have a website that keeps you updated and informed and all that good stuff? greg